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Joke of the Day
"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart."
Next Joke
"My IQ came back negative."
"[God creating mosquitoes] ""I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces."""
"They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn't mean to eat it. I don't want to be a bug."
"I feel like the set of Breaking Bad would be the best place to cook meth without anyone suspecting it."
"How does a monster begin a fairy tale? ""Once upon a slime . . ."""
"My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me... But toucan play at that game"
"If someone says you're not a mermaid, don't talk to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life."
"Freddy thought he was the true nightmare until he met Chuck Norris who roundhouse kicked and from that day Freddy hides in fear thinking a nightmare in texas"
"me: remember how i was talking about getting a xylophone [doctor holds up my x-ray] where the hell are your ribs? me: im trying to tell you"