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Joke of the Day

"Freddy thought he was the true nightmare until he met Chuck Norris who roundhouse kicked and from that day Freddy hides in fear thinking a nightmare in texas"

"My girlfriend has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean."

"ME: *pulling up my pants* What's the prognosis, Doc? DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT?! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor."

"Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?"

"A homosexual, a Pedophile and a Priest walk into a bar The bartender asked him what he would like to drink."

"I just added Princess Diana to my xbox friends list. I don't think she has any games though, all she does is spend all day on the dashboard..."

"When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris."

"Guys. GUYS! Every issue of National Geographic is now on DVD-ROM. FINALLY! God I've missed masturbating to sweet aborigine pancake titties!"

"Doctor: This patient needs exercise. Get him a walker. No that's a zombie I wanted a walk-oh I see what you did there, nurse [Everyone dies]"

"Life is like a penis Soft and free flowing. It's the women that make it hard."