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Joke of the Day

"Anytime my 6 yr old daughter replies with 'What?', there's always that split second where I fight my urge to start quoting Pulp Fiction."

"What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ""A"" bra."

"Why cant Helen Keller drive? She's a woman"

"What do you call a cold thief A rob-buurr"

"The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one"

"Earlier today I walked by a PERFECTLY S-shaped dog turd & didn't tweet a photo of it so I guess what I'm saying is that I'm growin up, guys"

"Hey'd you hear about that guy who's half Indian, half Canadian? Yeah, his name is Aziz I'msorry"

"We have a strange custom in our office... The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was ""Michael""."

"I just watched Bug's Life and cried the whole time I mowed the lawn."

"Knock Knock.. Who's there? Knock Knock.. Who's there? Knock Knock.. Who's there? Open the door! I'm the pilot."