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Joke of the Day

"What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ""A"" bra."

"every snail has a perfectly baked cinnamon bun inside its shell"

"How many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? A lot, because they're fucking stupid."

"My friend told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said maybe"

"Humans are made up of 70% water so next time you're thirsty just eat Jeff from accounting."

"What do you call a slutty egg? Over easy!"

"My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate."

"No thank you GPS. I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger's seat who knows everything."

"*incoming text* ""hey bud can I crash at ur place"" Sure come on over *sound of approaching airplane*"

"When I was a little kid, I would wait up all night waiting for santa to come. Then there was an awkward silence when he got up, put his pants on, and left."