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Joke of the Day

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes harmonica."

"Me: goodnight moon Moon: It's 6pm Me: I know but I'm tired Moon: I literally just got here"

"Why is a good husband like bread dough? Because his wife needs him."

"What do Jewish kids say to their Christian friends at Christmas? Sorry we killed your saviour, can we play with his new toys."

"It's eating disorder awareness week and they're selling t shirts for charity They only carry x-smalls."

"What did Jeffrey Dahlmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Excuse me are you going to eat that? *Ellen Barken on David Letterman show."

"Burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night........ .......... should have put it on aloha heat."

"What did one gay sperm say to the other? How are we going to get through this shit"

"How many protesters does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Protesters never change anything."

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"