196629

Joke of the Day

"Technology Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"

"What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm!"

"Have you heard of the italian chef that died? He pasta away!"

"I help morning mall walkers get their blood flowing by chasing them down with a chainsaw."

"The reason old men use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly."

"A Bostonian is walking down the street when... A pirate jumps out in front of him and screams ""Arrr!!!"" To which the Bostonian screams back ""Ahhhhhh!"""

"Me: I've been constipated for 2 months. Friend: No shit?"

"""I'd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for that skin condition,"" my doctor said. ""Woah, woah, woah, doc,"" I replied. ""Let's not make any rash decisions."""

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms"

"Nothing like an episode of ""I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"" to make you feel like a Harvard double major."