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Joke of the Day

"A Bostonian is walking down the street when... A pirate jumps out in front of him and screams ""Arrr!!!"" To which the Bostonian screams back ""Ahhhhhh!"""

"What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet? Shoe."

"Q: Why did the suspenders get arrested? A: Because they held up a pair of pants."

"What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12."

"They should invent an alarm clock that if you hit the snooze button more than 3 times it automatically calls in sick for you."

"Whenever I Get in Trouble My Back Hurts I guess I have scold-iosis"

"I always wanted to be somebody I should have been more specific."

"I play my women like I play the cello. I don't play the cello."

"Between men and women... There's a vas deferens."

"I talk a lot of shit for someone who won't sleep with her feet out from under the covers because of the monsters under the bed."