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Joke of the Day

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."

"What did Jesus say to the Mexicans? Don't do anything until I get back"

"I just think of unfollowers as me paying my Follower Tax."

"More of a Gay pickup line: I have naked tea parties about once every week. I have a tea pot now I need a tea bag. You up for that? (Ripped from family guy)"

"*walks up to a group of sad people at a funeral* Do y'all know the wifi password"

"Remember: whatever fun game you invent for your kids, you're going to have to play it 10,000 times"

"People keep asking me today ""So you have a new boss?"" No, I'm still with my wife."

"Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? A: I'm bigger than you!"

"I didn't like my haircut at first... But it's growing on me."

"I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my grandad in that concentration camp during the war... Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion..."