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Joke of the Day
"Why did the duck go into Rehab? Because he was a quack head"
Next Joke
"~ Gets old. Puts car keys in 'better' place so I won't lose them ~ Can't find keys, has thrombosisDies ~ Comes back as ghost ... finds keys"
"Why don't lobsters share their dinner? Because they're shellfish!!!"
"What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones? Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes."
"Fun Fact: Valentine's Day was created by a woman than didn't get what she wanted for Christmas."
"If I was Snow White you'd never be able to kill me with an apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something..."
"With God all things are possible; but with money all things are probable. And with a good accountant, they're all deductible."
"What is black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee."
"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back to you? A stick"
"Is anyone on Twitter named Sarah Connor? If so, where do you live? Nothing to worry about, just a simple survey for my neural net processor."