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Joke of the Day

"*at party* Guy: Want to dance? Me: I'm sorry but I cannot, in good conscience, leave this cheese ball unattended."

"Why does Thor have insomnia? He's up all night to get Loki."

"When does 2-1=0 ? When you're talking about choices."

"What are women good for!? Something to lie on while you have sex!"

"I forgot :( Whilst climbing in the roof space to get down the kids Christmas gifts, I found a present I'd forgotten last year. Such a shame - they would have loved that puppy."

"I like my women like I like my coffee.... Ground up and in the freezer."

"Cameron Cameroff"

"My son told me a girl was yelling at him and he just sat there wondering what he did wrong. Imagine, at 9, being so ready for marriage."

"So one physicist asks another physicist So what's new? The physicists responds, C over Lambda."

"*notices ham sandwich while searching inside myself* 'wait, if that's here' *son opens lunchbox to find debilitating existential malaise*"