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Joke of the Day

"My son told me a girl was yelling at him and he just sat there wondering what he did wrong. Imagine, at 9, being so ready for marriage."

"Join the war against masturbation!!! We can beat it together!!!"

"The wife convinced me into taking her to Hawaii if she lost 20 pounds. You'd be surprised how many M&M's someone can swallow in their sleep."

"Everyone is wondering if Biden will jump into the 2016 race He's just Biden his time."

"Why do we use black pens on white paper? So hangman is more realistic."

"What did Mr. Cena's fiancee say on their wedding day? No, John! *You* can't see *me!*"

"Can you tell me a joke existential in nature?"

"Look. If we're going with redundancies like ""tunafish"", I'll just have my beefmeat and be done with it."

"What is the similarity between tornadoes and divorces in Kentucky? ... either way, someone is losing a trailer."

"How do you know if a girl is hungry or horny? Give her a cucumber and see what hole she puts it in. How do know if she's hungry & horny? When she sits on the cucumber and then eats the pickle."