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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike? Attire"

"There are more and more suicide bombers around nowadays isn't there... then again... also less and less."

"""It's our third date and you still wear that shirt?"" Honey, this all they have in prison."

"Why is the Jewish 'April fools day' celebrated in July? Jew lie"

"'Tell me you want me' he ordered. 'I want you' she said. 'Now tell me you need me.' 'I need you' she sighed. She hated calling tech support."

"i was just roughed up by a hipster bully. he gave me a knuckle sandwich, but also offered a gluten free alternative"

"I think the large hand on my watch is lagging. Sloppy seconds"

"My wife gets angry when she catches me using her tooth brush. But how the hell do you get the dog shit out of your sneakers."

"Saw a guy with a barcode tattoo on his neck. Scanned it with my RedLaser app & he couldn't believe I found him cheaper on 3 online stores"

"I dont use one of those unfollower sites like a psycho. I use my handwritten list of followers and crosscheck it daily like a NORMAL PERSON!"