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Joke of the Day

"18 years ago my 4rd grade teacher said to me ""You aren't shit and you'll never amount to anything.""... I guess it's safe to say, she was a psychic. Wonder if she can predict the lottery too."

Next Joke
 
"Why did Adele cross the road?? To say hello from the other side."
"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman? Mick Jagger screams ""Hey, you! Get off of my cloud!"" A Scotsman screams ""Hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"""
"What do you call 2 accountants having a threesome with a girl? Double-entry"
"Why are Leprechauns always laughing? Because the grass tickles their balls when they run EDIT: I don't know why I decided to post this.."
"SIRGEN = A Slut that acts like a VIRGIN"
"How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just keep complimenting it and get mad when it doesn't want to screw."
"What do you call it when you lease false teeth? A dental rental."
"How does Moses make his coffee? HEBREWS it! (He brews it)"
"I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it."