196360

Joke of the Day

"Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure."

"Why did the skeleton not go to prom? He had no *body* to go with!!! As told by a Professor, in a serious Aerospace class, reading off of Laffy Taffy."

"Did you hear about the new machine that creates earthquakes? It was groundbreaking."

"If Zombies ever switch to eating souls, I'll have the last laugh on everyone whoever made fun of me for being a Ginger"

"Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants? Because Chernobyl fallout."

"What do you call your disabled study-buddy? Your cerebral pal-sy."

"Guy walks into a bar... So this Jewish guy walks into a bar in New York with a parrot on his shoulder. The Bartender goes where'd you get that? And the parrot says, ""in Brooklyn, they're everywhere."""

"If you've been married less than a year, stop with all the love and marriage quotes. S hit will eventually hit the fan..."

"What is worse to injest than E Coli? Broc Coli"

"Upon what does a jungle cat write a letter? A cheetah paper."