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Joke of the Day
"My friends say I'm frugal. I'm not buying it."
Next Joke
"A woman went to the doctor, who examined her. He said, You have a bad back. The woman said, I want a second opinion. The doctor said, All right! You're ugly as well."
"""Good thing I guessed that today was probably a BYOB situation."" -me, chaperoning the kindergarten field trip"
"Dear white people: you stop Adam Sandler from making movies and we'll stop Eddie Murphy."
"[soup kitchen] *homeless man is handed a plate* What the hell is this? -Turkey bacon. *throws tray against wall* I'm hungry! Not desperate!"
"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time-consuming."
"What do you call a pony with a cough? A little hoarse!!!"
"Before you unleash her inner goddess, try to find out if she's channeling Aphrodite or Medusa."
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.... And the rest was made in China."
"Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, ""Bang!"""