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Joke of the Day

"Workin hard. Putting my nose to the grindstone. Grinding away that nose. Barely any nose left now. Whole face messed up. Due for a promotion"

"I want my tombstone to just say ""You should see the other guy"" on it"

"A really sad man committed suicide by crushing himself with a vending machine He was soda pressed."

"What is the worlds friendliest aircraft? A hellocopter!"

"How do '90s kids count to 6? Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis."

"Things You Will Never See In A Fortune Cookie"

"Irony is lost on kleptomaniacs because they take everything literally."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground up and in a can."

"Who is the king of stationary? The ruler."

"I crashed into a dwarf at some traffic lights He got out of his car and said ""I'm not happy."" I replied, ""Well, which one are you then?"""