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Joke of the Day

"How do I explain to this 5yo why it is of paramount importance to use the word kitty instead of pussy in his Mother's day card?"

Next Joke
 
"That awkward moment when someone asks if you've dyed your hair and you say no, its just clean."
"Thinking about making a sitcom where two mermaid guys are roommates and calling it ""tuna half men"""
"Why can't cows do ballet? Because they lactose."
"What's next to England? A question mark."
"To the person who just mass messaged me that heart felt ""Merry Christmas"" text, I thought you should know everyone says ""Thanks"". ..All 115 of them."
"Press 1 for English. Press 2 For shitty customer service in any language."
"To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run!"
"CLOSE THE DOOR, YOU'RE LETTING ALL THE WIFI OUT"
"My friend said he had a hole in his sock. I replied, ""Darn it!"""
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