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Joke of the Day

"I see you've blocked me on all social media sites & moved house without leaving a forwarding address Baby, does this mean we're on a break?"

"What's worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat? Sitting on a warm one."

"Tonight I'll be teaching a poetry class for prison inmates called ""Prose & Cons""."

"""Any minute now. Any minute..."" -Lincoln Logs, waiting for a phone call from Hollywood"

"when it's april 2nd and she still pregnant"

"You say lasagna. I say spaghetti cake. Because my 3 year old won't eat lasagna."

"What musical instrument can be found in nearly every Bathroom? ... ... A tuba toothpaste."

"Parenthood is where you spend 18 years saying no all because of that one critical time you said yes."

"Teacher: Are you good at math? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Yes I'm no good at math!"

"My drug dealer gave me new shoes today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."