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Joke of the Day

"Go ahead lady, call the cops. I have witnesses that say your toddler started it."

"Birdhood A single shot film with no cuts and a running time of 12 years."

"What did one hat say to the other hat? You wait here, I'm going to go on a head."

"Where does the pirate put his ear ring? In his buccaneer."

"Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift? A: 32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register."

"Happy new year! Sorry, I suffer from premature congratulation."

"I just realized that my sex life is like my movie habits. I stick it in, lean back, and fall asleep halfway through."

"What did Victoria say to Vancouver? I'll BC-ing you later."

"You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney."

"What is Spiderman's perfect job? A web designer. ^^^^^sorry!"