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Joke of the Day

"I saw this really good movie in a hotel.. There were a lot of gunfights, cowboys, saloons and drinking. It was the Best Western I've ever seen."

"I think I hear burglars dear. Are you awake? No!"

"I went out clubbing in the village last night. People looked concerned when i came back covered in blood. I was more concerned about my club."

"What do canola oil and some abortions have in common? They come from rape seed."

"""Hey Evolution, what the fuck?"" - Platypus"

"Is there an app to delete your number out of other people's phones yet?"

"What will Donald Trump definitely do when he wins the election? Donald Trump will ban muslim, be a douchebag,make the whitehouse 500x larger and of course, BOMB NORTH KOREA!"

"It's unlucky to glance over your shoulder while wearing a sweater made of rabbit wool... Don't look back in angora."

"Why do the French stink? So blind people can hate them too"

"""Bill, I'm beginning to think my wife might be cheating on me..."" ""What makes you say that, Tim?"" ""Well, you're standing naked in my closet..."""