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Joke of the Day
"I think I hear burglars dear. Are you awake? No!"
Next Joke
"After being away from Reddit for a day, how do you keep up with what you missed? You go to 9gag."
"What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time? Urine-nation!"
"Wow the weather sure is getting cool *A cloud rolls by wearing sunglasses and smoking an unfiltered cigarette*"
"So I asked my wife, were you faking it last night? She said: no I really was asleep. (I heard this from Gazzo on Penn & Teller: Fool Us)"
"I don't trust anyone with a beard, especially a woman"
"*two turtles strapping themselves to a sleeping cheetah* Just you wait, Carl! This is gonna be awesome!"
"A Russian, an Irishman and a Scott walks into a bar.. Just kidding. They never left the bar in the beginning"
"What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair? Artificial Intelligence."
"I like my memes the way I like my freudian slips Send dudes"