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Joke of the Day

"A guy at the DIY store asked if I wanted decking... ...fortunately I managed to get the first punch in."

"Accidentally ran into my ex in town the other day and then purposely put the car in reverse and ran into her again"

"What two games does Carl Sagan play at the bar? Billiards and Billiards"

"How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space? It's a little meteor."

"What do you call a fusion between Batman and Superman? The krypton-knight."

"What was Hiroshima's code name in World War 2? Target Practice."

"A woman site down next to a man in a bar and says, ""You smell good, What do you have on?"" The man says, ""I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."""

"What goes: 'click' is that it? 'click' is that it? 'click' is that it? A blind guy with a rubix cube"

"There's been a rash of break ins recently involving teenage boys, so I switched out all the locks in my home with bra clasps."

"A disease that kills you and can only be spread through the transmission of bodily fluids. Are we sure we're not talking about marriage?"