196023

Joke of the Day

"Will only make sense to geezers... Q: What do Hot Lips Hoolihan and Richard Pryor have in common? A: They both have had major burns on their face."

"I cant get on Tumblr anymore... My doctor told me to cut down on Trans-Fats"

"It's never easy to look at someone and tell them 'That thing we both felt, that thing you saw inside of me, it just isn't there anymore'... Especially when its your obstetrician!"

"How do you get a drummer off your porch? Pay for the pizza."

"Boss: HR wants to see you Me: What for? Boss: Mandatory drug test Me: Oh man, I really can't do any more drugs after the weekend I had"

"A magician was driving down the street and turned into a driveway"

"If we didn't have lawyers... We wouldn't need lawyers!"

"The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris."

"Why do pagans make the best husbands and wives? Because they'll worship the ground you walk on."

"I was sitting next to a woman on a flight and asked her... >Does the airline company charge you for flying next to good looking men? She responded with >Yes, but this time I decided not to pay"