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Joke of the Day
"Why do pagans make the best husbands and wives? Because they'll worship the ground you walk on."
Next Joke
"Gay jokes aren't funny... ...cum on guys"
"A secretary asks a favour of her boss. She asks ""can I borrow your Dictaphone?"" ""CERTAINLY NOT!"" he replies indignantly... ""You can use your mobile like everyone else!"""
"""When I hand-write an entire page it looks like I've had a stroke by paragraph two."""
"*flashes smile* *smile calls police*"
"A good thing about being single is I don't have to worry about anyone flushing while I shower. Or caring that I exist or whatever."
"How can if you have a stupid dog ? It chases parked cars !"
"[WARNING, spoilers ahead!] 1.) Storing milk at room temperature 2.) Grandparents 3.) Black people in a movie theatre"
"*holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again."
"Fondly remembering a time when I could wear an over-sized guy's cardigan and still look pretty sexy, now I just look like a crazy bag lady."