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Joke of the Day

"I was sitting next to a woman on a flight and asked her... >Does the airline company charge you for flying next to good looking men? She responded with >Yes, but this time I decided not to pay"

"What did the school in Egypt finally get? A new bus."

"[JAIL VISITATION] WIFE: I got u a cake ME: U know I don't like sugar W: U need a BREAK, OUT of ur diet M: It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle"

"Eat food with the fridge open in front of the other food to establish dominance as well as prepare for the next feeding."

"Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper? A: Michael Jackson's hand !!"

"What did Santa say when big old fat uncle Alfred came round to chat? Nice to *sleigh* you!"

"Why didn't the bird cross the road? It chickened out."

"I think my roommate might be gay his dick tastes like shit!"

"I swallowed a 1 coin today.. ..I went to the hospital and after poking around for 10 minutes he stuck his head up and said 'ok go home, come back if there's any change' Tight bastard!"

"Just heard local reports of a stalker, which is funny because I watch everyone through their windows and none of them look suspicious"