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Joke of the Day
"Oprah just came out with a line of vibrators They're called ""the O""."
Next Joke
"Basically if your movie trailer features a close-up of a glass of rippling water I'm assuming that your movie will have dinosaurs."
"What's the difference between fog and mist? If you hit it its fog, if you don't it's mist."
"I'm not saying my ex is crazy,but The only way to take her picture, is with a Bi-Polaroid"
"A one-legged and a blind man are arguing The one-legged man says: ""I'm gonna kick your ass!"". The blind man replies: ""Sure, I'd like to see that!"""
"I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding."
"World of Warcraft. The only time I let my 9 year old play with a priest."
"""This tweet isn't funny yet. Welp, better remove all the commas and capital letters! Ah, PERFECTION!"" --me"
"I heard someone say their podcast was on ""hiatus"", guess that sounds better than ""my mom took away my laptop""."
"Therapist: So why doesn't the marriage work? Wife: My husband uses to many Star Wars puns Husband: Divorce is strong in this one"