195812

Joke of the Day

"My New Year's resolution is *removes sunglasses* 2048x1080. I'll explain. *perches on desk* You see, the word 'resolution' can also refer t"

"I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to do a rape-sex fantasy. She said, ""No!"" I replied, ""That's the spirit."""

"what did the mexican firecheif name his kids... Hose A and Hose B"

"Dipping dots, more like garbage dots. Go back to the future, dipping dots"

"What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home? IUD"

"I like my women like I like my cars ...All black and twenty eight hundred pounds!"

"My secret to sleeping is I put my bed outside When I go to bed I'm always out cold"

"My friend says he needs to get hydrated immediately. Well, water you waiting for?!"

"How do you know if an introvert likes you when you're talking to them? They'll stare at your shoes instead of theirs."

"I too lost 120 pounds... And the Judge says the bitch gets to keep the house..."