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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm on twitter I always turn my phone upside down to try and collect spare change from your pockets."

"Dentists' offices only come in two layouts: ""open-floor concept Smarthome with a medical twist!"" or ""design attained perfection in 1964"""

"My superpower is making red lights turn green simply by trying to write a tweet."

"Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus."

"Whats the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? A pick pocket snatches watches."

"What does a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars. Well, except for the duck."

"Hogwart's basketball team is the worst in all the wizarding world They could only score 9 in 3 quarters."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A Rip-Off"

"So a banana gets a job, how much does he make? Not that much he's working for scale."

"I'm on a whiskey diet I've lost three days already."