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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm on twitter I always turn my phone upside down to try and collect spare change from your pockets."

"How many women does it take to screw a lightbulb? Only one, but with a perticular FETISH"

"What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain? In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex."

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your girlfriend to blow your paycheck!"

"Mass suicide cult leaders are a dying breed"

"Pilot: Tower please call me a fuel truck. Tower: Roger. You are a fuel truck."

"If Bill Clinton was a construction worker he would be called Bob the Billder Sorry."

"Who was the best player on the Seahawks last night? The Broncos' center"

"THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women."

"So i was making a software to help people to stop procrastinating and never finished it."