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Joke of the Day
"I apologize for pinching your lips closed when you started telling me about your kids"
Next Joke
"What do you call Indian flowers? Patels [source](http://i.imgur.com/LXADoFR.jpg)"
"You know what's weird? I've never seen any femail boxes."
"Yo mama is like the gas station. Pump and Pay."
"How do you know your GF is getting fat? She starts fitting in your wife's clothes..."
"My girlfriend announced she was having her sports car detailed ""I am going to have them wax it too,"" she said. I looked at her nonplussed and said, ""I didn't know Corvettes had a bikini line."""
"If you turn your underwear inside out and put them on, the whole universe is wearing your underwear except for you."
"[my husband turning onto our street] ""know what I think?"" husband: you don't have to say it everytime. ""we've been down this road before"""
"Have you heard the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless."
"What do you call a dog with no legs and brass balls? Sparky"