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Joke of the Day

"How do you know your GF is getting fat? She starts fitting in your wife's clothes..."

"What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed? A reptile dysfunction. Thank high me for that one."

"In what situation would you need Nancy to come out of the ground? in an emergenancy"

"What do you do when a scientist dies? You barium! ba-dum-tss"

"Any pizza at Pizza Hut is only $10. ANY! How is there still sadness in the world?"

"Putin's message to tourists: Visit Istanbul While he still exists..."

"I don't see why everyone resents the Headless Horseman... All he wanted was head."

"Adulting so well today. Managed to make the bed while i was still in it. Now to figure out how to get out, without messing it up."

"I can't believe this guy took time away from his busy schedule of commenting on YouTube videos to make my McDonald's order wrong."

"Someone dumped in the urinal! It was real shitty!"