195644

Joke of the Day

"Wife: It's time for a vacation. Me: Where do YOU want to go? Wife: Hmm... Maybe the Bahamas? Me: Great idea! And, I'LL go camping upstate!"

"Someone asked me to name my favorite composer... It made me Bach. I couldn't get a Handel on it. I had to make a Liszt."

"Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration? Because you can really party hearty! "

"My neighbor knocked on my door at 3am Can you believe that? 3 in the morning, but luckily i was still up playing the drums."

"[alligator store] Clerk: $1500. Thanks Me: not gonna say bye to him? Clerk: uh Me: say it Clerk: goodbye Me: say ""see you later alligator"""

"I'm a devout Catholic with a sex addiction. I'm a hole-y fucker."

"How do you fit 42 Jews into a Volkswagen bug? 1 in the drivers seat, 1 in the passengers seat, and 40 in the ash tray."

"What do Leonardo DiCaprio & anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common? Their odds of winning are the same"

"Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be YOUR blood."

"I still haven't been able to deal with the fact that Jessica Simpson has had two children and didn't name either one ""Homer"""