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Joke of the Day

"I still haven't been able to deal with the fact that Jessica Simpson has had two children and didn't name either one ""Homer"""

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"Me, hold a grudge? Never. I carry a battle axe at all times and settle any nonsense as it happens."
"What's the best thing about duct tape? It turns no, no, no into Mm, Mm, Mmmm"
"How do you make a cat bark? Wrap it around a tree"
"How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof? Tell him drinks are on the house."
"How did the pig get out of the tree? The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)"
"TIL Atheism.... ...is a non-prophet organization"
"I told my friend I was traveling to Seattle... He asked who attle was."
"[Arrives at work dressed as a sexy kitty] Boss: *points to memo on desk* ""It says no Halloween costumes"" Me: *slowly pushes memo off desk*"
"REQUIRED : A content developer. Salary commensurate with contentment"
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