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Joke of the Day

"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? -> He uses the finest ingredients."

"Why was the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he was a fungi..."

"You're stuck in 2nd person and you can't get out. Help you. Help you. Please. Help you You wrote this reddit post"

"What I bring to a relationship is pretty much the same stuff you can pick up at any hardware store."

"If you sleep with two prostitutes in one day... what is the first one called? a whore-derve"

"I like my coffee how I like my women warm"

"I ate 23k pounds of cream cheese yesterday. BUT, there were nuts in it and I yelled FITFAM the whole time so technically it was health food"

"To all those that received a book from me for a Christmas present They're due back at the library today."

"I recently bought one of those Dutch ovens, but everything I cook ends up tasting like farts."

"Why do Catholics eat fish on Good Friday? Because Jesus died for our fins."