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Joke of the Day

"ATTENTION: upon further consideration I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience."

"How do you catch a bra? You set a booby trap."

"Confucius on baseball Confucius say ""Baseball wrong, man with 4 balls can't walk"""

"If someone's Twitter picture has 2 or more people in it, I write a letter to my senator."

"A man walks into a grocery store in the countryside and asks...[brazilian joke] How much is a dozen bananas? &nbsp; And the cashier replies: &nbsp; -Twelve bananas"

"Did you hear the one about the 2 gay ghosts? They kept giving each other the willies!"

"What do you call a black detective? Sherlock Homie"

"Doc: Your insurance won't cover it all. Me: What if I sewed myself shut? Doc: Suture self."

"What is a primate's ideal salary? A gorillian dollars per year."

"What are an Italian bench warmer's favorite vegetables? Asparagi!"