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Joke of the Day

"What is a primate's ideal salary? A gorillian dollars per year."

"What are caterpillars afraid of? **Dog**erpillars!"

"How did you get your girlfriend to have sex with you while she was on her period? Let's just say I pulled some strings."

"Have you ever eaten at a Native American restaurant? It's mostly corn...but you have to make a reservation."

"I was absolutely fuming when I walked out of the art store earlier Bitch didn't have my Monet"

"Did you guys hear about the sequel of ""To Kill a Mockingbird""? It's called... ""The Murder of Crows"""

"Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween? Because OCT 31 == DEC 25"

"I heard they found water on Mars... I bet California is pretty jealous."

"My job keeps asking me to sign up for a marathon. I keep telling them I can't. I'm out of shape, I have weak knees, and 401k is a long way to run."

"What did the lesbian vampire say to another lesbian vampire? ""See you next month"""