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Joke of the Day

"Why are British anti-smoking PSA's often made by homophobes? Because they want to prevent people from bumming fags"

"why is it so hard just to get your kids to say ""bitch please"" and ""bitch thank you"""

"I hate being bipolar it's awesome"

"Niece: found these handcuffs in your drawer. Me: yea I got arrested once Niece: omg why Me: for going through my aunt's drawers."

"I accidentally dropped a piece of my bagel in the trash and it feels like a relative died."

"Who is never hungry at Christmas ? The turkey - he's always stuffed !"

"I've reached the age where if I see a wet T-shirt contest, I worry the girls might catch cold."

"Oil the single ladies Oil the single ladies Oil the single ladies Oil the single ladies If you liked it then you should have put a rig on it"

"Check it out on Netflix There's this new docu-series about religion in professional sports. The first episode is titled *Bindi Like Beckham*"

"Rockstar has pretty much confirmed it's making a new Red Dead ... ... Grand Theft Auto V dlc with new customizable skins inspired by attire in the famous western-themed game."