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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally dropped a piece of my bagel in the trash and it feels like a relative died."

"[high seas] FIRST MATE: I can't wait to see my wife again PIRATE: Land Ho! FIRST MATE: Now look, that's a little rude"

"What's the difference between Mayweather and a Lotto winner The Lotto winner has to make an effort for his money"

"*kids running down the stairs* DADDY, DADDY, I HEARD TOYS BUZZING IN YOUR ROOM AND MOMMY SAY, ""SANTA CAME EARLY THIS YEAR."""

"You know what my grandpa said right before he kicked the bucket? Hey, watch how far I can kick this bucket!"

"Why is Ian Thorpe gay? He didn't like breast stroke."

"Why do elephants have flat feet? from jumpin' outta palm trees, duh"

"Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of Muesli? He was pulled under by a strong currant"

"I'm tired of the Mexicans naming their sons Jesus Jesus was not a Mexican, he was a human being. (Please forgive me)"

"Heard this one from WWE. Were you born on the highway? No, why? Because that's where most accidents happen!"