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Joke of the Day

"call 2 psychiatrists and tell them ur gonna put them on the phone with a guy who thinks he's a psychiatrist. now put them in the same call."

"How do fish lose weight? They Swim-fast."

"So a Korean man, a Syrian man, and a Mexican man are all in a truck. Who's driving? Immigration."

"The letter R is just the letter P showing off some leg."

"What do you call a person with.. A phone."

"Pickup Line! on a scale of 1 to 10, you are a 9 and I'm the 1 you need."

"What's the difference between a fedora and a fedina? ""A fedina? What's a fedina?"" ""*a-Spaghetti and meatballs!*"" Try it out. Just try it. This holiday season."

"You'll get this gun when you pry it out of my cold dead ow hey give that back"

"95% of my tweets are the truth. The only thing I lie about are statistics."

"Why isn't the speed of light Asian? Because it never gets better than a 'C'."