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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a person with.. A phone."

"How to get a girl to like you: 1. Become a lion tamer 2. Release a lion on her 3. Tame it right before it kills her 4. Take her to Chili's?"

"Hey girl are you from Tennessee? Because I was wondering if you'd still be interested in me if I wasn't your cousin"

"Traffic Two civil engineers were competing for a bid to do the road layout for a city. The engineer that lost accused the other of cheating, to which the winner said ""Roundabouts are fair play""."

"you must have a special kind of death wish if you have your read receipts on and still ignore my texts."

"If I ever see a shark I won't be attacked. Because although sharks are attracted to blood in the water, they are repelled by feces."

"Why do Vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat? Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don't like where real meat comes from."

"Did you hear about the patch of fog that entered the spelling bee? It wasn't very good but they gave it a precipitation medal."

"Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey? He didn't like getting nailed to the boards."

"Why don t women have men s brains? Because they don't have penises to put them in"