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Joke of the Day

"SON: Daddy, I keep hearing noises from my closet. I think a monster's in there. ME: Yeah, why do you think mom and I chose the other room?"

"Dog for sale Eats everything. Loves kids."

"How to kill your wife without consequences. Hah. Made you look."

"I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on."

"A Star Wars Joke(No Spoilers) Why was Han yelling at Chewbacca on their first day on the Millenium Falcon? . . . Because Chewie was making too many wookie mistakes!"

"Sometimes I say big words, even when i don't know what they mean They make me sound photosynthesis."

"A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. ""Excuse me"" he said to the cat in charge ""Can you get milk stains out?"" ""Sure"" replied the cat. ""We'll have that stain licked in a minute!"""

"What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls? Altha'or syzygena"

"So a guy gave his friends 10 puns to try and make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did."

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."