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Joke of the Day

"Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?"

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"One of the rudest things you can do is make eye contact with someone eating McDonald's in their car."
"I've just written a song about tortillas - actually, it's more of a rap."
"A procrastinator walks into a bar I'll post the rest later.."
"At my parent's house, or as I like to call it, the world's most judgmental self-service laundromat."
"The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say ""Die slowly"" and ""die quickly"". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian."
"I ran over a kid in a John Cena shirt but in my defense, i couldn't see him"
"I would tell you a complicated joke But there is no chance that your incapable human mind has any possibility of comprehending what it means."
"What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar twenty five, deer nuts are under a buck"
"What do you call a deer with a missing eye? I have no fucking eye deer."