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Joke of the Day

"I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason."

"When women reach a certain age they start accumulating cats This is known as many paws"

"I have a new co-worker, who only has seven toes. I instantly hated him. Turns out I'm lack toes intolerant."

"Do you know of anyone that has had sex while camping? I was told it's really intents."

"Hey, you know why goldfish are the only snack that smiles back? because they are baked."

"Went to Big Lots with a $100 gift certificate and they just handed me the keys to the store."

"What is The Mountain's favorite tri-cep workout? (Spoilers) Skull crushers"

"I'll accept the consequences but in my defense, it was a double dare.. Judge: well in that case, I triple dog dare you 60 days in jail."

"My wife and I couldn't have a baby so we decided to go to an adoption agency. I was so excited while I was in there. It made me happy to think that I could finally take off the baby on board sticker."

"Dubai knows how to end the year with a BANG! I'm talking about the fireworks display guys."