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Joke of the Day

"I'll accept the consequences but in my defense, it was a double dare.. Judge: well in that case, I triple dog dare you 60 days in jail."

Next Joke
 
"$10 COMPLAINT A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"""
"What's the point of having nice tits if you're going to cover them up? Stop being so fucking greedy and unbutton your shirt like I do."
"What do mice eat during the summer? Micecream"
"Houston, we have a problem Houston: new phone who dis"
"There are two kinds of people: Those who can count."
"A man was admitted to the ER with 6 small plastic horses up his bum... ...doctors described his condition as ""stable""."
"Why are Asians bad at golf? They don't know how to drive."
"Clue in Michigan is cheaper, because it only has three pieces Governor Snyder, Flint, and the Lead Pipe"
"Catherine Zeta-Jones was recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder half of the time she is Zeta, the other half shes Jones"