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Joke of the Day

"I think the only time my ex didn't fake an orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers."

"OH GOD! BOB IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK! QUICK SOMEONE CALL A TEMP AGENCY. I'M SURE AS HELL NOT DOING ALL HIS WORK."

"I wish you were on the football team because I'd love to see your backfield in motion."

"'Marley and Me' has a sequel! It's called 'Me'..."

"What sound will reddit make when it blows up? Nothing, it's just a website."

"Saw HBO were going to be making a new TV show set in an airport... They had to cancel it though as the pilot didn't take off."

"Why don't midgets smoke weed? Because they can't get high."

"She died doing what she loved: Running for her life in the wrong direction."

"Why does Garfield hate Mondays? He doesn't have a job."

"I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though"