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Joke of the Day
"I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though"
Next Joke
"Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back."
"And on the 32nd day, God had forgotten to end his free trial, so he was charged for the month."
"[getting car jacked] umm i know i'm supposed to resist and all but if we don't cooperate we're both gonna miss McDonalds breakfast so hop in"
"MOBA Joke Why are Americans bad at MOBAs? Because they cant defend towers."
"Much like #Skynet, the dirty dishes in my sink have achieved self awareness."
"I saw an image of the Virgin Mary on a pumpkin! It squashed all of my doubts... And, reinforced my faith in Gourd."
"Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational."
"What do you call a discounted circumcision? A rip off"
"""Twilight"" is the timeless story of a girl who must choose between ripped abs or clingy dependency."