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Joke of the Day

"OH GOD! BOB IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK! QUICK SOMEONE CALL A TEMP AGENCY. I'M SURE AS HELL NOT DOING ALL HIS WORK."

"Then God created Saturn and he liked it, so he put a ring on it."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and a bassist? Santa Claus has gifts"

"What kind of fun does a priest have? None."

"Have you ever noticed women say men only have one thing on their mind? Yet women constantly ask us what we're thinking."

"If you love someone, set them on fire. If they come back, it's a phoenix"

"They used to be called ""Jumpolines"" Till your mother had a go."

"My husband just got to level three on netflix: ""faking an illness"" to finish binge watching I'm on level 6: ""faking your own abduction"""

"This morning I woke up to a tap on my front door. My plumber has a weird sense of humour."

"I don't know what Germany's favorite letter is but I can definitely tell you it's... Not C."