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Joke of the Day
"Why is peter pan always flying? He never lands."
Next Joke
"Why can't you make fun of Steve Jobs' death? ... Because it's not PC"
"As long as McDonald's doesn't make us pay with excercise."
"No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don't Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this."
"[terrible nursing home] Old guy: How did you end up here? Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster."
"Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up? Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it."
"How much do you want to bet that the inventor of the Lazy Susan has an ex-wife named Susan?"
"I read to blind kids in my spare time. Their favorite book is ""2dots1dot3dots 4dots3dots 5dots2dots1dot 2dots1dot5dots."""
"Q: What's red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint."
"Did you hear about the blonde who missed the 44 bus? She took the 22 twice instead."