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Joke of the Day

"As long as McDonald's doesn't make us pay with excercise."

"I once went on a date with a playwright It was all going well, until she started making a scene"

"Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that's ever served me. With just the tip."

"Why I Could Never Be Gay As A Man. NSFW I could never fuck something i respect."

"What do you call the neighborhood where all the poor Italians live? The spaghetto."

"Have you heard about the all-lesbian construction crew? well, they don't use studs; it's all tongue & groove :)"

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Melt them down into a tire and call it a good year."

"TIL there are a lot of #1 rules for being a prostitute"

"What's long hard and has semen in it? A submarine!"

"My thesis just came back with ""Appendix?"" scrawled on it. Seems a little forward but I thought: sure, why not?."