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Joke of the Day

"What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common? They both shred footage. (*be gentle, it's my first time.*)"

"Angry feminist told me that men are animals, men are pigs! So I told her that women are equal to men."

"My boss noticed I shaved before coming in to the office today then he told me if i wanted to keep my job I would have to start keeping my pants on"

"Guess what Chicken butt"

"Emo Kids: you've seen one, you've seen the mall"

"What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails."

"TIL where the first French fry was made. In grease."

"Men are like a bag of chips They seem full at first glance but when you look inside you see it's mostly just air."

"You should be wearing a jersey so i dont have to ask for your name or number"

"An egg and a sausage are frying in a pan... An egg and a sausage are frying in a pan. The egg turns to the sausage and says, ""It's getting hot in here!"", and the sausage replies ""Wow! A talking egg!"""