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Joke of the Day
"""Have fun"" is just a nicer phrase for ""have a horrible time without me."""
Next Joke
"Alright Ralphs, here's the deal: you replace people with automated cashiers, I replace paying with stealing produce."
"Evidently that good samaritan bullshit doesn't apply when you help an old lady cross the street on the hood of your car."
"Why are there no bungalows in France? Because the French have many flaws"
"I buried my head in my girlfriend's breasts tonight when we had a deep, intellectual conversation I just had to rack my brain to figure it out."
"Farmer Brown put up a pig-shaped weather vane but he's not happy with it. Instead of pointing with the wind the pig vane keeps pointing toward the feed trough."
"Q:What happens when your GF illegally downloads a movie? A:She becomes PirateBae"
"A libertarian prostitute looks at her pay stub.. ""I'm sick of all these fucking-taxes"""
"What do you call a computer smoking weed ? High tech."
"If time-outs have tought me anything, It's that doing something wrong gets you time for peace,quiet,and solidarity. In a place called jail."